Category Archives: real life.

2011 in review:

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,300 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.


Synchronicity III

“In Shamanic Cultures, synchronicities are recognizes as signs that you are on the right path” Daniel Pinchbeck

Synchronicities happen all the time to everyone.  Unfortunately, the untrained mind refers to them as coincidences.  The word coincidence is a cop-out expression used to keep people from further examining the true meaning of what is really happening.

Sychronicities can be perplex and they can be completely simple.  Have you ever gotten into your car and the first song you hear on the radio speaks directly to you and the current situation you are in?  Have you ever thought of someone and randomly out of the blue that person calls you seconds later?  These are just simple examples of synchronicity.

Of course, most people just write them off as coincidences and think nothing of it, but if you truly recognize the synchronicity of the situation, you will realize that they happen more and more often in more and more complex ways.

Society as a whole wants you to believe that these are solely coincidental, but, the fact remains, these complex synchronicities occur to people who are on the path to enlightenment.  When you recognize that there are no such thing as coincidences, your mind starts to open up to the interconnectivity to the universe.

Every “coincidence” happens for a reason and that reason is to show you that there is more to life that seven billion separate people living on a day-to-day basis.  Synchronicity is only a step, but when recognized it opens up a world around you that you were never able to see with your naked eye.  The ability to change your view on the world as opposed to sticking to what you had predetermined at childhood and puberty is true enlightenment and recognizing synchronicity is a major step on the path to true enlightenment.

My favorite tweets (pt 2):

Unedited; commentary saved for after:

shelby fero
shelbyfero shelby fero
Sarah Silverman
SarahKSilverman Sarah Silverman
(to the tune if Claire de lune) thats the joke u dumb cunt RT @Penaltyb0x14 @SarahKSilverman What guy doesn’t like back to the future?
Stephen Colbert
StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert
Congratulations to the lucky buyers of MySpace! Now, enjoy forgetting you have it for two years.
Esther Povitsky
Little_Esther Esther Povitsky
If you look hard enough, you can find everything you need scattered across your bedroom floor.
Garry Shandling
GarryShandling Garry Shandling
When I buy condoms, I like to try one on to make sure it doesn’t make me look fat.
Kirsten Price
Kirsten_Price Kirsten Price

@GShep323 hahaha that takes me back! Lol
Alec Sulkin
thesulk Alec Sulkin
“Wanna listen to Pearl Jam?” “Nah. I’m just gonna take a tough shit in work boots.”
Esther Povitsky
Little_Esther Esther Povitsky
if you’re a hot guy and we’ve had sex and you haven’t changed your fingerprints, you are totally my boyfriend now.
Gregg Shepherd
GShep323 Gregg Shepherd
If more chicks were like Casey Anthony, I’d have unprotected sex more often.
rob corddry
robcorddry rob corddry
Just introduced my five year old daughter to Joni Mitchell’s Blue. Fuck you, future boyfriends!
Sarah Silverman
SarahKSilverman Sarah Silverman

Im pretty sure we’re the last of the all-human generations

Shelby Fero and Esther Povitsky’s comedy has been a favorite of mine for the past couple months.   Same goes for Alec Sulkin, now not being from LA, I’m not one to tell you when or where they do standup or how well it is, but they translate well to twitter.  And then you got the old sage’s of comedy and Twitter like Corrdry and Silverman with their deep thoughts.  Of course, I had to throw in the only tweet I’ve favorited from myself as well as longtime friend Kirsten Price hitting me up.

I want this to help show how much more you can get out of rocking a twitter account than being on facebook looking at pictures of someone’s weddings and babies every other day.  It’s to the point, you can follow whoever you want and use it as practice for making 140 character statements.

These are a few of my favorite tweets:

I figured I’d join the Twitter revolution since reading a bunch of people’s Facebook updates made me wanna choke myself and I could better choose who I get updates from on Twitter.  I still usually go to fb first, but if I have a good one-liner then Twitter is the perfect place to let it out, and if the people don’t like it or find it offensive, they can just unfollow you or block you(Thank you, Doug Benson).  So without further detail:

iamcolinquinn Colin Quinn:

Why doesn’t Polly Holiday from Alice had Hollywood star when she came up with the most popular expression in America ever. Kiss my Grits!

GarryShandling Garry Shandling: 

 @GShep323 Right on, no? Peace in

couldn’t pass up getting a shout out from one of my comedic heroes.

WhitneyCummings Whitney Cummings: 

congress needs to work on a bill that deports people who tell you about their dreams

StephenAtHome Stephen Colbert: 

My favorite days of the Easter Week? Good Friday and Taco Tuesday!

For the record, Mr. Colbert holds the record for most of my favorited tweets, just edging out Double Ess.

CKlosterman Chuck Klosterman:

This is the only important thing I’ve learned since 2005 RT@thisrecording: Presbyterians is an anagram for Britney Spears

reggie_bush Reggie Bush: 

Watching Money Train! One of my favorite movies. This when Wesley Snipes was hot! Put dark skin bruh’s on the map never looked back since

joerogan Joe Rogan:

Eating ice cream when you’re not high is a waste of good ice cream.

SarahKSilverman Sarah Silverman: 

I admit that I SOMETIMES pee in the shower, but more often than not I pee in the tub. #ipeeinthetub


diducit osid riley: 

 for some odd reason doc holliday has always been a hero of mine…

me too, osid.  me too.

Welp, that’s it for now, that’s only a handful of the great lessons you can learn by being on Twitter as opposed to the horror stories of Facebook status updates.  We’ll see what this week brings…

Six from the archives:

Starting off the week w/ an oldie but a goodie.  This came from notebook 3, so it was fall 2007, the height of my madness.  Look forward to my first post show review of Kermit Ruffins outside the Spot in Providence this weekend, and maybe if things go well, we’ll have another ‘mind of a Zappa fan’ post sometime this week, until then, here goes nothing:

So John Malkovich took his dog for a walk today.  He had a bottle of water, his business coat, a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and the meaning of life.  He walked to an old abandoned school house and stepped into the outhouse to see the door was ajar.  There was a sign over two holes.  One for ‘Boys’ and the other ‘Girls.’  He took the signs down and switched them to either position.  He then took a pack of cigarettes and dropped them down the hole and ventured on his way.  He then crossed the street to the old church that was adjacent to it.  As he reached the church a police car pulled up and watched carefully from his vehicle.  Malkovich took his mask off and hung it on the door of the old church.  He turned to face the police officer revealing himself to be Optimus Prime.  The Police officer drove away with nothing to say.  Optimus continued on his dog walk and headed home to find a pack of cigarettes awaiting him.

Thanksgiving morning 2007 Instant Karma Situation:  I try to leave Tim’s house with less than enough money to buy a pack of smokes.  I go to leave and the front door is jammed shut.  I try to fix it but lack the proper tools.  I put that off and use the back door.  I walk half the distance to the gas station where I come across a black man selling Newports for four dollars.  Jackpot!  I walk back to the house and as I arrive the landlord is just pulling in, we put our heads together and fix the front door with more than enough time for me to chill out and listen to Tim’s stereo while he sleeps and enjoy the beautiful morning.  At one point, the woman who lived upstairs came down to use the computer.  She had to check out spermicides and what works best and I found that a little too personal an issue to be checking out on your neighbor’s computer.

I was on the bus from Chicago to Madison one trip to pick up my car and drive it all the way back to Massachusetts the next morning.  We had to wait for another bus at the Janesville bus station.  While waiting for the bus, a middle aged man came into the station with what looked to be a member of the Armed Forces.  It was a snowy night in early December and he was picked up by a couple local police officers for hitchhiking to the bus station.  He was taken to the police station and this middle aged man had the kindness to bail him out and take him to the bus station.  The police confiscated his bags and all his money and told him he’d be able to pick it all up at the airport.  I offered him twenty dollars for food and assorted essentials but he declined.

Five from the archives:

Found this one that I totally forgot about.  It must be from ’09 or ’10 because I’m a lot more at peace with myself in it.  Also found my first attempt at poetry along with it, so I’ll tack that on afterwards:

Zen.  I’m sure there are loads of books on buddhism that try to teach zen to the average man.  You can practice all you want, take yoga classes, etc. and never achieve your goal.  Sometimes it just comes naturally.  Suffering is a major part of life, everyone has to deal with it.  No matter how rich, poor, successful or unlucky you are.  It’s just a matter of dealing with it properly.

Stress can tear apart even the most stable of minds, but when you are one with the universe you know that none of it really matters.  I could make a difference; I could change the world, but even then would I be content with myself?

There’s no value or dollar amount that can be put on one’s own peace of mind,  To be whole within one’s own self matters more than outward happiness or success.  I can watch the world pass me by, but as long as I feel complete within myself, who is anyone else to say that I am going about it wrong?

The Divine Light

The divine light fuels the brave,

It guides us through, beyond the grave.

It’s guidance brings us along the path,

to see the smells and taste the math.

Let go of pride, relinquish fear,

An unspoken rhyme you can only hear.

Like a bird in the sky, sparrow or dove,

The divine light is fueled by love.

Make the deal, an eye for an eye,

meet me halfway and we’ll never die.

Reaching the goal is the ultimate test,

Being yourself truly is the best.

Onward and onward you continue to roll,

Wake up, open your mind and free your soul.

I’m sure I broke all the rules of proper poetry and iambic pentameter or what have you, but whatever; it is what it is.

Igziabeher’s B.I.B.L.E.:

I don’t mean Bible in the Holy Book sense persay, more along the GZA’s Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.  It reads more like a job resume than anything, but that was partly what I was going for at that time.  This is my first major piece of writing for myself, and have posted it other places before(including my facebook notes, which prompted me to start this blog), but I figured it belonged here at some point, so here it is:

What I, Gregg Shepherd, want to do with my life?  Help people.  How?  By exchanging money for goods and services.  When?  Always.  Where? Anywhere.  Why?  Because that’s my job.  More How:  Communication, Networking.  Be me.  Be proud of it.  Only ask people twice.

Career:  Entrepreneur.  also:  odd jobs.  This and that.  People person.  Ask people what their problems are, then find solutions.  Do It for free for close friends and family.  Charge the willing and those that can afford it.

Be Cool.  Patience is a virtue.  Enjoy what I do and people will be interested in what I have got to say.  Have fun with it.  The sky is the limit.  Don’t forget who your friends are.  Don’t let negative people and negative energy get to me.  Write a book about it.  Inspire the masses.  Maintain enlightenment.  Don’t stop doing what makes you happy.  Be open and honest with everybody.  Don’t take credit for a goddamn thing.  Checks are cool though.  Kiss and hug the people I love.  Mean it.  Don’t be jealous or embarrassed of or by anybody or anything.

I don’t think I’m god.  Never have.  I just know I can help other people if I listen.  Who can I help?  Only the willing.  I need to be free of persecution, free of all diseases in order to let go.  Some people are going to try to push my patience and tell me I’m not right.  Oh well.  I have to deal with it and not kill myself over it, no matter how physically tempting it is.  I have the ability to let go, move on and absolve myself of all sins.

Being sick is the body and mind’s struggle of dealing with stress.  Learn how to handle stress properly and you’ll live a long and happy life.  Also, go to the Doctor because that only helps.  Don’t read and study and preach, know and help.

Those who follow are going to come close but miss that one important thing.  Its not about money or RECOGNITION.  I can get people to do what I want for them with less money and personal greed than your average being.  I am a creative life-force and through that I can inspire others to help each other.  My god is everyone else.

I have the power to bring together a united front, but I have to live for my family first.  Complete the puzzle for myself, but don’t show anyone.  Don’t let anyone else tell my story for themselves.  They are no talent sponges who lack the ability to inspire.  Get people who want my help to understand that only they can help themselves.

Rewrite the Bible.  Personalize it.  Make my stories as holy as anyone else’s.  Be an ASS.  Do everything I ever wanted to do in my life before I die.  Don’t pretend.  Start off under the table, when I have the strength to stand on my own two feet, LEGITIMIZE.  Do honest and good business.  Kick ass here and there. Be a member of people’s inner circle, but don’t hold all your allegiance to just one.

Do not, I repeat DO NOT TELL anybody!  Save it until you are on your death bed and then bust it out at the very last minute and be all like ‘How you FEELIN’?’  Learn from my mistakes, don’t be afraid to let loose every once in a while.

Be like Elvis – THE KING

Do not bend or break my beliefs for anybody or anything.  Stop frontin’.  Only hang out with like-minded individuals.  Positivity.  Lay off the drugs.  Take my own advice.  Make some tea.  Woohoo!  Shit, I forgot where I left off.  Oh yeah, shut the light off in the kitchen when I leave.  Stay happy and healthy.  Live a long life.  Do everything in MODERATION.  Did I say get a Job???  That should probably come first.  I need to really bankroll my investment before I can get started.

Wear my seat belt.  Realize that I won’t always be successful, but with hard work and a good spirit I can’t not be successful.  Listen to all my favorite bands and share in as many good times as they’ll allow me.  Close the computer every once in a while.  LOG OFF/Disconnect.

Divinity through deduction.  3 is the magic number, or so they say.  There are three types of people in the world.  The scientists, the religious gurus, and those of us who strive to walk that middle path.  I do believe that 4 is a much more magical number than 3 can ever be.  Four = completing the square.  If you can listen to people and find out what completes their square, then you have stepped upon a divine path.  People have the ability to complete the square for themselves, but if you let someone help you through trust, then you have made a connection that no science book can tell you about.

Science and religion are not mutually exclusive.  Anyone can inspire.  Don’t let playa hataz destroy you.  TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.  Those who do not learn from history are destined to repeat it.  Find your 8, 12, 13, however many apostles in everything and blow their minds.  The Beatles said they were bigger than Jesus.  They were wrong, but they were pretty close.  Syd Barret lost his mind because he did not think anyone ‘got it.’  The ones who did, did. I will never know everything, but I know what I believe in.  Let my friends help me.  We’re standing on the footstep of the second coming and the decisions we make within ourselves will decide our fates.

Everyone has their own personal reemergence.  Its just using that knowledge to our advantage (as a whole) then we can start saving the world.  THE ROYAL WE.  Secret societies equal groups of like-minded people working to achieve the same goal.  Whats their secret? There is none, and there should not be one.  Just certain people try to hide it in fear of getting pwned.

Jesus wanted everybody to write their own Bible.  The key though is to never finish it.  Share it with people.  Let them love and appreciate it for what its worth.  But more important than anything, don’t stop living.